College life can feel lonely at first, but making friends doesn’t have to be hard. Learn proven ways—backed by my real-life counselling experiences—to help your teen thrive socially.
Worried about your teen making friends in college? Discover 13 simple, proven strategies—based on real-life experiences—to help them build confidence, make connections, and feel at home on campus.
Heard this one?? -One of the biggest worries I hear from parents? “My teen is struggling to make friends in college.”
Trust me, you’re not alone. I’ve worked with so many teens who walked onto campus feeling like a tiny fish in a giant ocean. But the good news? Making friends isn’t about luck—it’s about putting yourself out there in small but meaningful ways.
So, let’s break it down. Here are simple, real-life ways that have helped students I’ve worked with build their social circle—and actually enjoy college.
- Stop Comparing College Friends to School Friends
One student told me, “I don’t feel as close to anyone here as I did to my high school friends.” That’s normal! Deep friendships take time. Encourage your teen to embrace new connections instead of constantly comparing them to old ones.
- Push Past the Comfort Zone
I once worked with a teen who stuck to his high school friends so tightly that he barely met anyone new. When he finally forced himself to sit with new classmates at lunch, his social world expanded overnight.
✅ Encourage them to say “yes” to new experiences—even when it feels awkward.
- Join Clubs, Sports, or Campus Groups
Every semester, I see students who feel lonely until they find a group with shared interests. Whether it’s a dance team, a tech club, or an environmental group—joining something instantly creates common ground.
- Say “Hi” in Shared Spaces
Canteens, dorm lounges, the library—these are goldmines for casual conversations. A simple, “Hey, have you tried the coffee here?” can lead to a new friend. I’ve seen it happen more times than I can count!
- Be Approachable (a.k.a. Don’t Look Like You Hate the World)
I had a student who kept saying, “No one talks to me.” Turns out, he was always wearing headphones and avoiding eye contact. Smiling and looking open makes a huge difference.
- Pursue Passions—Friends Will Follow
One girl I worked with found her best friends after she started with reciting a poem at open mic nights. Doing what you love attracts like-minded people—whether it’s music, gaming, or art.
- Remember Names (And Use Them!)
We all love hearing our own name. Encourage your teen to repeat someone’s name in conversation—it’s an easy way to make people feel valued and strengthen connections.
- Join a Study Group
Fun fact: People bond faster when struggling together. I’ve seen countless friendships form over late-night study sessions and shared exam stress.
- Friendships Need Effort—Show Up
One teen told me, “I don’t know why I don’t have close friends.” Turns out, she never actually texted anyone first or made plans. Encourage your teen to be proactive—send the first invite, check in, and make the effort.
- Volunteer—Instant Connection
Volunteering at events, fundraisers, or even orientation programs is a fast track to meeting kind, engaged people. Plus, it gives them a purpose beyond just socializing.
- Master the Art of Small Talk
One of my students once asked, “How do I start conversations without sounding weird?” Answer: Talk about what’s around you.
- “Tried this coffee yet?”
- “This professor is hilarious, right?”
- “This weather is insane!”
Small talk opens the door to deeper conversations.
- Rejection Happens—And That’s Okay
Not everyone will become a best friend. And that’s normal! I tell students, “For every person who doesn’t click, there’s another one who will.” Keep putting yourself out there.
- Take the Lead
One of my favourite success stories? A shy student who started inviting classmates to grab coffee after class. Turns out, most people are waiting for someone else to make the first move. Encourage your teen to be that person!
What NOT to Do
🚫 Overthink conversations – It’s not a performance, just be yourself.
🚫 Stick to one group – A diverse social circle makes college more fun.
🚫 Force friendships – If it feels unnatural, move on.
🚫 Rely only on social media – Real-life interactions matter more.
Real-Life Stories from Students & Parents
💬 Anita’s Story: She felt invisible during her first semester—until she joined the debate team. At first, she just listened. But over time, she spoke up, gained confidence, and found her closest friends.
💬 A Parent’s Perspective: Devi’s son was struggling socially. Together, they decided he’d volunteer at a campus event. Not only did he meet new people, but he finally felt part of the college community.
Final Thoughts: Help Your Teen Find Their Tribe
Making friends in college takes effort, patience, and an open mind. The key? Encourage your teen to step outside their comfort zone, try new things, and be themselves.
And remember, it’s okay if it doesn’t happen overnight. Every student is navigating this transition together. Support them, remind them they’re not alone, and celebrate the small social wins along the way.
Need Extra Support?
If you are teen or your teen is struggling with confidence, self-worth, or social anxiety, we’re here to help. Contact us today to learn about our programs designed to build resilience and empower teens to thrive socially and emotionally.
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